I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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