Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's shark week go big or go home
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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