On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
