its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
