Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
