Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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