Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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