Did you just see the Batmobile???
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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