I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think your dad took our porno
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
