is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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