It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
