i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
