I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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