thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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