Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
