A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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