he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
