WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Where is the hickey?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
