I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
