Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
