At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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