I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
