I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
