My first STD was from a foam party
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
