THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
