I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
