yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
