she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
