The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
