that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
