i need an iv and a liver transplant
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
