I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
