I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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