i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
