its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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