Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
