Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
