i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
