I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
