just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
