there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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