i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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