She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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