"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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