Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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