I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
