I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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