i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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