I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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