Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
