he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
